Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
