so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
