I seem to have left my pride at pride
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
