Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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