playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
