On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
