I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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