I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
