Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
