we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
