wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize