Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Terrible idea I love it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
