I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
