it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
