I like to think it a success when the cops are called
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My penis needs a shock collar
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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