sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
