If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this just has baby written all over it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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