Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
