hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
