Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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