she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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