just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
