First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
