Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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