i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
