You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
