using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
