I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Buhtt sex?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
