Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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