Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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