Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You dont lie about slip and slides
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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