I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
