Already got asked if we're dating
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My vagina just clenched in fear
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