I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
