There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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