My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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