Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
