You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
