I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
