My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
