it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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