why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
