Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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