ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
