well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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