did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
