i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
