Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
