a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize