Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
how does that bad decision feel?
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