Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
