My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
