So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
