just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
They took my balls.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
