do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
