R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
