what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm passing your future prison.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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