When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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