I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
